This means war! – Rapunzel’s story (7)

* Rapunzel’s perspective

“Ah, watching a young man and woman flirt sure brings back memories. When I was your age and first met the woman who is now my wife, I was just like you—completely smitten, grinning from ear to ear!”

“W-what? Baron Lion, sir, that’s quite the joke!” Chester, who had been twirling with Fiona in his arms as she returned to human form, quickly stepped back from her in surprise, startled by the lion’s words.

“What’s the matter, Chester? I guess we must just look that good together!”

Oh, please.

‘When did you two get so close that you can just casually lock arms like it’s nothing?’

I couldn’t help but feel suspicious of Fiona, who clung to Chester like gum on a shoe.

“Ahahaha, do we?  Makes me feel a bit shy, honestly, I don’t know what to do with myself.”

‘Shy, my foot… There’s nothing shy about your face right now. Just like the lion said, you’re grinning like a fool.’

Chester’s face, unable to turn away from Fiona for even a moment, was as red as the sunset.

“Come now, this isn’t the time or place for this! The sun is already setting. If we want to return to our human forms, we should start heading back to the village quickly.”

“Is it already that time? Yes, yes, Lion, as you say, we’d better get back quickly. But, what should we do about the crown that we agreed neither you nor I should have?”

“Ah! How about this? Let’s have the friends that have helped us today carry it to the village with us. They’re the ones who finally put an end to our years-long feud, after all. Shouldn’t we offer them a feast back in the village?”

“Wonderful idea! What do you all say? Will you come with us to the village of our unicorn and lion families?”

We were only about an hour from the Mad Tea Party in sector 5, so I felt that it would be best to refuse. After all, it was better not to waste time if we wanted to find the Un-shortbread Cookie, return to our original forms, and finally get that unbearable Fiona away from Chester as soon as possible.

“Okay! A grand feast sounds so exciting and lovely! Don’t you think, Chester?”

“Oh, yes! I’d love that too, Fiona!”

This was quickly turning into quite the hassle.

“What do you think, Rapunzel? You’re coming, right? And you, Harris?”

“Well, if Rapunzel is going…”

With everyone’s eyes on me after Harris spoke, I felt a bit cornered.

“Ahahaaa, well, I guess at this point it would be rather awkward to decline so, let’s all go together!”

“Oh, Rapunzel! If you’re eager to get to the Mad Tea Party first, you can go on ahead. You’ve already come all of the way here just because of me, I don’t want to trouble you any more than I already have.”

“That’s right, Rapunzel. Go on ahead with Harris to the Mad Tea Party and find the Un-shortbread Cookie so you can get back to your regular size. Don’t worry about Fiona; I’ll stay with her, and we’ll catch up with you first thing tomorrow morning.”

‘T-tomorrow morning? Not ‘we’ll catch up after dinner,’ but tomorrow morning?! And you sure made up your mind quickly about it!’

My frustration was boiling over inside of me, but on the outside, I forced my lips to smile at Fiona as if nothing was wrong.

“Fiona! How could you say that? You’re my ‘friend’. There’s no way I could leave a friend behind.”

“Oh my goodness, Rapunzel! I had no idea you thought of me so kindly. I’m so touched!”

‘Ugh, why do I feel a stab of guilt about this?’

Apparently, Fiona was naturally the type to be overly affectionate and touchy-feely, regardless of gender, because as soon as I called her “friend,” she immediately untangled her arm from Chester’s, dashed toward me, and knelt down to shower my cheeks with kiss after kiss.

“Wh-what’s this! Rapunzel, since when did you and Fiona get so close?”

I wanted to shout ‘This is all your fault, you silly, clueless cat!’ as I glared at him, but in my tiny form, I couldn’t do much more than fume.

“Well then, shall we?”

“Oh, Baron Unicorn! I’m sorry, but I have to get back to my son, who is waiting for me at home, so I’ll have to part ways here.”

Right. With Fiona and Chester being such a distraction, I’d completely forgotten about Humpty Dumpty.

‘Come to think of it, Humpty Dumpty’s the one who told Fiona about the antitode that Baron Lion and Baron Unicorn had, which brought us all this way in the first place.’

Maybe I should’ve listened back when Harris said we should just ignore the sound of crying.

‘All this must be because I developed some useless sense of justice after helping Tweedledum and Tweedledee!’

Humans are probably better off minding their own business and living well on their own. But humans were social by nature, and after all, it seemed impossible to ignore other people’s issues entirely. Case in point: Fiona and Chester’s insufferable closeness, still right in front of me.

“Hmm, it’s too bad, but it can’t be helped. Well then, Humpty Dumpty, be sure to come and visit us again! You’re the one who introduced these friends to us, so we’ll make sure to repay you someday.”

“Yes, thank you, Baron Unicorn! Fiona, congratulations on becoming human again. Goodbye, Chester, Rapunzel, and Harris!”

“Now then, shall we head out?”

After saying her goodbyes, Humpty Dumpty left, and the lion and unicorn led us deeper into the forest.

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“What time do you think it is, exactly? Where have you been wandering at this hour?”

When we arrived at the Lion family’s home, the sun had already set, and stars were beginning to appear one by one in the night sky. The Unicorn family’s home was further away, so we decided to stop by in the morning to greet them before we set off.

“Sorry, I was meeting some new friends… But now that your husband’s back, how about a kiss? Unless you’re hoping I stay a lion forever?” The lion puckered his whiskered lips and leaned toward his angry wife.

‘Oh, right. To turn back into a human, they need someone to kiss them after drinking the potion.’

“Hmph! If you’re going to be out that late, maybe you should just stay a lion! It’d certainly make it easier for you to run around here, there, and everywhere all day.”

“Oh, come on, my dear wife! No need to be so upset!”

In an attempt to appease his angry wife, the lion started putting on a cutesy display, swishing his scruffy tail gently and attempting to meow like a tiny kitten. Watching him act like that was… uncomfortable.

‘I think acting all cutesy like that might actually make her even more annoyed!’

However, contrary to my expectations, his little ‘adorable’ act worked. His wife let out an exaggerated sigh like she just couldn’t win, and kissed him.

‘No way! That actually worked? I can’t believe it!’

As soon as the Lion Baron received his wife’s kiss, he returned to human form, and a handsome young man in knightly attire emerged from the home to greet him.

“Father, you’re back!”

“Oh, Charming! Have you find any trace of her?”

‘Her?’

“Unfortunately, her whereabouts after the ball are still unknown.  The only clue I could find of her was this glass slipper…”

‘Wait a second, that’s–!’

There was no mistaking it. That glass slipper held in the hands of the charming knight was one that I’d made for Cinderella at the request of Gus, who had helped me escape from the toad’s lair.

“Um, that slipper…I think I might know who it belongs to…” I cautiously spoke up, looking up at him.

“What’s this? Such a tiny lady! Like…”

“Like a human thumb? Yes, yes, I’ve heard it before,” I said, cutting him off.  At this point, I was no longer even surprised at the predictable reactions of surprise my appearance garnered. Charming, like everyone else seeing me for the first time, had closed one eye, squinted, and raised his thumb, comparing its size to me.

“Ahem, sorry if I offended you,” Charming, noticing I was upset, took a polite step back and offered a quick apology.

‘At least he knows how to apologize… That’s more than I can say for his father.’

The Lion Baron had called me strange and bizarre upon our first meeting, but Charming seemed to have a bit more tact.

“Anyway, what did you mean when you said you might know who this glass slipper belongs to?”

‘Should I tell him? What if I do, and then he asks me to help find the owner of the glass shoes? Wouldn’t that make things even more complicated?’

But, when I saw Charming kneel, his expression pleading as he glanced back and forth between me and glass slipper, I felt my resolve weaken.

“….sigh, well, here’s what happened…”

I reluctantly told him about my escape from the toads with the help of Gus, of the mice living in the castle, and how I had altered a dress, crafted a pumpkin carriage, and made that very glass slipper in Charming’s hands for Cinderella.

“That’s incredible! Then that means you know where the one I’m looking for, the owner of this glass slipper, lives?”

“Yes… something like that.”

“Could you possibly guide me there?”

I knew this would happen! That’s why I didn’t want to tell him about the owner of the glass slipper.

‘After all the hardship of getting to Sector 4 in the first place, now he wants me to go all the way back to Sector 2 to where Gus and the mice live? No way, I can’t. Absolutely not!’

But I hesitated to respond.

“If what you want is a guide, I can help you.”

“Chester!”

“I also know the way to the castle where Gus lives. Rapunzel, I bet you’re hesitating because you want to get to the Mad Tea Party, right? I’ll help Charming, so don’t worry and go ahead.”

Something felt odd. Why did I keep getting the feeling that Chester was eager to separate from me?

“Then I’ll go with you, Chester!”

“Really? I’d be so happy if you would, Fiona. But since you and Rapunzel are such close friends, though… I figured you’d want to stay with her.”

“Well, yes, but Rapunzel has Mr. Harris. Chester doesn’t have anyone else.”

‘Oh, so now you’re trying to be that ‘someone’ for him, huh?’

At some point, Fiona had tied her long, dark violet hair into a high ponytail, and the ends of her hair brushed against Chester’s knee as she leaned close to him, clinging to his side. Chester seemed utterly distracted, his face getting redder every time Fiona’s hair tickled his knee, and his clownish grin made him look as if he would ascend to the heavens at any minute.

“Rapunzel, are you alright? You don’t look so good,” Harris asked, noticing my furrowing brow.

At that moment, I couldn’t deny the feelings bubbling up inside.

‘Hmph! ‘Friendship jealousy’? Nope, not a chance. It’s war from here on out, Fiona. We’ll see who Chester ends up choosing in the end.’

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Translator comments:

Once again, Fiona is a delight and oooof the number of times I winced at Rapunzel’s behavior here. Real middle school emotional immaturity flashbacks! I keep reminding myself this is a coming-of-age story which by nature necessitates that the characters have growing up to do, and one of the most powerful ways to learn is, alas, through making mistakes. Also wow, didn’t remember Rapunzel meeting Cinderella at all. This is what happens when you take a year-long break between chapter translations…oops.

Translator notes:

• Rapunzel describes Chester’s face as ‘헤벌렐레레’ which is an exaggerated onomatopoeic expression that describes someone looking overly happy, goofy, or dazed, usually because they’re smitten, excited, or caught up in a moment. It’s not a standard word but rather an extension of 헤벌쭉, which similarly means “grinning foolishly” or “looking overly delighted.”

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